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Paul R. Lloyd's

November 2009

Business Growth Ideas
ZUK-LLOYD ASSOCIATES, INC. – Turning ordinary business information into extraordinary stories


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Business Growth 1

Business Growth 2

Business Growth 3

Business Growth 4

Personal Growth 1

Mystery

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Mystery

TURKEY DAY CAPER

Or Some Days You Eat the Bird and Some Days the Bird Eats You

By Paul R. Lloyd

The crumbs of the apple pie stared back at me like a corpse from a gangland shootout. Cranberry sauce dribbled down my chin, but I was too full to lift my napkin to wipe it. Then the hinges squealed on my office door and I knew those apple crumbs, the last remains of a Thanksgiving dinner from the Black Dingus Bar and Grill, would never be eaten. I managed to wipe my chin before police lieutenant Lawson entered.

“Somebody kill a turkey?” I placed my napkin on my battleship gray office desk.

“Not just any turkey. Councilman Smithern’s eldest son took a head chopping.” Lawson planted himself next to my paper plate with the candy yams smiling up at him.

I hate candy yams. “And you want to know who done it?”

“Appears to be his girlfriend, Anita Rose.” Lawson folded his arms across his chest.

“The looker hugging the front page of the papers these days?”

“Beautiful in life and in the paper. Not so good looking in the county lock up.”

“But she didn’t do it, did she?” I pushed my chair away from the desk. Good thing it has wheels.

“Appears she did, but I’m not sure.”

“Hand me the notes.” I stretched my hand out while marveling at how plump my fingers appeared.

“Just one thing, first.” Lawson placed a hand into his suit jacket.

“Yeah. What is it?”

“Councilman’s son. Yeah, he was a turkey, but he didn’t deserve the axe.”

I nodded. “She a swinger?”

“Yeah, guess so. Hits all the clubs if that’s what you mean.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I mean did she have the muscle to swing an axe?”

“The axe was swung. The head rolled. Her goose is as good as cooked.”

I shrugged. “Not her goose in the morgue, is it?”

Lawson placed the notes in my hand. “See what you can make of this.”

I took the crumbled old napkin with gravy smears.

The guy sitting at the table chewing the stuffing out of the turkey doesn’t like Phil.

Bill didn’t see the axe land on the victim’s neck because he was busy over on the other side of the room backing into the person carving the rest of the bird.

I put the gravy-decorated scrap of paper napkin on my desk and picked up my cranberry juice. “You’ve four people at this Thanksgiving dinner and one of them lost his head so there are three suspects, right Lawson?”

“That’s correct: Anita Rose, Phil Offit and Bill dePop.”

“Your notes don’t tell me much.”

“So?”

“So you know me. I work with what I have. The axe swinger is…”

Whodunit?

ANITA ROSE PHIL OFFIT BILL DEPOP

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